What follows, dear readers, is a true story. A tragic tale, indeed. Yesterday, I met my friend Viktoria at our local grocery store at 2:00(a convenient place, located halfway between our respective homes.) On our way out, a local bum asked us if we would buy him a salami sandwich. We politely declined. He kept talking about the sandwich and we ingnored him as we waited for the light to change so we could walk across the street. Viktoria and I had a lovely day of shopping, great new fall clothes at the Banana, had a long discussion about the jeans with no back pockets dilemna, to wear or not to wear. We also stopped at Nordy's to look at makeup. I purchased a lovely new bright red matte lipstick from MAC called Ruby Woo. This stuff is the real deal. Super matte, super bright, super cute. So, I was wearing the lipstick. Then we met our friend Lauren and had a couple of lavender martinis at Southpark, which was so much fun! Then I was walking home around 7:30, and of course waltzed past the aforementioned grocery store bum, who was still asking people to buy him a salami sandwich FIVE AND A HALF HOURS LATER. He asked me, I declined. Then, in a bold move, he says to me: "Too much red lipstick, it's way too obvious." Oh no you didn't! I wasn't having any of that. I guess you could say I was a little bit tipsy, plus when bums give you makeup tips, you get a little bit angry. So I turned around and flipped him off. Then he was all "Hey, come on, you don't gotta be like that." So I yelled "F**k you" at him and stomped off home, I was so mad! Then I got over it and it seemed really funny. What do bums know about makeup anyway? And what exactly was my lipstick too obvious for? Picking up bums on the street? Hilarious! Learn from my tale, dear readers, and remember not to get in street fights with homeless people!
